A Quiz for the Internet Addicts

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves
constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in
twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your
wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing
things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who
you are.

Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)

Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows: 2 for (a), 4 for
(b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).

  1. How many valid net addresses do you have?
    Multiple machines at the same site do not count.

    ____Internet ____UUCP ____Other public access ____Other

    ____Bitnet ____Freenet ____Internet BBS ____All seven

    (2 points each)

  2. How many hours did it take for you to create your .sig?

    1. Huh?
    2. More than one
    3. More than five
    4. I'm still looking for a really funky quote

  3. On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?

    1. Nobody sends me any mail... snif
    2. Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle over, because he has nothing better to do
    3. I can't count that high, I failed calculus
    4. Don't ask me now, I'm too busy. Send me e-mail.

  4. Alright, fess up. Have you ever read alt.sex.bondage just to
    see what the heck those perverts were talking about?

    1. Yes, and I'm so ashamed
    2. Yes, and I'm so embarrassed
    3. Yes, and would you please explain a few things to me...
    4. No, never. (10 points. You're lying.)

  5. Have you ever met one of your past SO's (significant others)
    via a computer network?

    1. No
    2. Yes, through a newsgroup we both posted on
    3. Yes, by chatting randomly over the Internet (shame!)
    4. Yes, by chatting over RELAY

  6. Once you've logged onto your system, what do you spend most
    of your time doing?

    1. Going through the library system and putting books on reserve
    2. Reading _Alice in Wonderland_ in the online bookshelf
    3. Reading the monthly postings on rec.humor.funny
    4. Writing up stupid quizzes because you've done everything else

  7. If someone were to telephone your home at any given moment of the
    day, what would be the percent chance that your phone would
    be busy?

    1. Zero... I've got call waiting
    2. 25%.... I only dial in from work (Uh, hi, boss)
    3. 75%.... Duh, so that's why nobody ever calls me
    4. Zero... My modem has a separate phone line

  8. Which usenet newsgroups do you spend the most time reading?

    1. The comp. groups... because they're so informative
    2. The soc. groups.... because they're so multicultural
    3. The rec. groups.... because they're so diverting
    4. The alt. groups.... because I don't know what half those words mean

  9. What's your worst complaint about having an Internet account?

    1. I have to pay $5/month for it
    2. The damn sysadmins won't give me enough quota to hold all my .gif's
    3. All those programmers keep tying up the modem lines
    4. I have to stay in school to keep it

  10. Check your watch now. What time is it?

    1. 10 am... coffee break
    2. 3 pm.... General Hospital's on
    3. 12 am... one last login before I hit the sack
    4. 4 am.... Oh my God, I've got a test tomorrow

All right, people, scoring time.....

0-25 points: You're not a "nerd". Go read a manual or two and come back
next year.
25-50 points: You're an up-and-coming Internet "nerd". Why don't you
telnet over to and play around with the Quartz
BBS for a while.
50-75 points: You're a full-fledged Internet "nerd". Join the club.
75-100 points: You're an Internet addict. Try going to the library
this week, it'll do you some good.
100+ points: You're an Internet obsessive-compulsive. Unplug your
computer, go out in the woods for a few days, and relax.
Lay back and listen to the birds singing. Clear your mind.
And don't forget to unsubscribe yourself from all those
lists before you leave.

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.