10) New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.
9) We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.
8) The U.S. government would get subsides from an automaker -- a first.
7) The oil, alternator, gas, and engine warning lights would be replaced by a single 'General Car Fault' warning light.
6) Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
5) You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.
4) You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car 95 or Car NT -- but then you would have to buy more seats.
3) Occasionally your car would die for no apparent reason and you would have to restart it. Strangely, you would just accept this as normal.
2) Every time the lines on the road were repainted, you would have to buy a new car.
1) People would get excited about the new Microsoft cars, forgetting that the same features had been available from other carmakers for years.
These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people
email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on
to the subscribers of our various jokes lists.
Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built
up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much
any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes
and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the
blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes.
Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text
files to html.