The Evolution of a Programmer after College
JokeTribe - THE Best Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

High School/Jr.High

      10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
      20 END

First year in College

      program Hello(input, output)
      begin
      writeln('Hello World')
      end.

Senior year in College

      (defun hello


      (print
      (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

      #include <stdio.h>
      void main(void)
      {
      char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"}; int i;
      for(i = 0; i <2; ++i)
      printf("%s", message[i]);
      printf("
");
      }

Seasoned professional

      class string
      {
      private:
      int size;
      char *ptr;
      public:
      string() : size(0), ptr(new char('�')) {}
      string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
      {
      ptr = new char[size + 1];
      strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
      }
      ~string()
      {
      delete [] ptr;
      }
      friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
      string &operator=(const char *);
      };
      ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
      {
      return(stream << s.ptr);
      }
      string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
      {
      if (this != &chrs)
      {
      delete [] ptr;
      size = strlen(chrs);
      ptr = new char[size + 1];
      strcpy(ptr, chrs);
      }
      return(*this);
      }
      int main()
      {
      string str;
      str = "Hello World";
      cout << str << endl;
      return(0);
      }

Master Programmer

      [
      uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) ]
      library LHello
      {
      // bring in the master library
      #importlib("actimp.tlb");
      #importlib("actexp.tlb");
      // bring in my interfaces
      #include "pshlo.idl"
      [
      uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) ]
      cotype THello
      {
      interface IHello;
      interface IPersistFile;
      };
      };
      [
      exe,
      #importheader(<windows.h>);
      #importheader(<ole2.h>);
      #importheader(<except.hxx>);
      #importheader("pshlo.h");
      #importheader("shlo.hxx");
      #importheader("mycls.hxx");
      // needed typelibs
      #importlib("actimp.tlb");
      #importlib("actexp.tlb");
      #importlib("thlo.tlb");
      [
      uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820), aggregatable
      ]
      coclass CHello
      {
      cotype THello;
      };
      };
      #include "ipfix.hxx"
      extern HANDLE hEvent;
      class CHello : public CHelloBase
      {
      public:
      IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);
      CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
      ~CHello();
      HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);
      private:
      static int cObjRef;
      };
      #include <windows.h>
      #include <ole2.h>
      #include <stdio.h>
      #include <stdlib.h>
      #include "thlo.h"
      #include "pshlo.h"
      #include "shlo.hxx"
      #include "mycls.hxx"
      int CHello::cObjRef = 0;
      CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
      {
      cObjRef++;
      return;
      }
      HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
      {
      printf("%ws
", pwszString);
      return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
      }
      CHello::~CHello(void)
      {
      // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
      cObjRef--;
      if( cObjRef == 0 )
      PulseEvent(hEvent);
      return;
      }
      #include <windows.h>
      #include <ole2.h>
      #include "pshlo.h"
      #include "shlo.hxx"
      #include "mycls.hxx"
      HANDLE hEvent;
      int _cdecl main(
      int argc,
      char * argv[]
      ) {
      ULONG ulRef;
      DWORD dwRegistration;
      CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();
      hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL); // Initialize the OLE libraries
      CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
      CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF,
      CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
      REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);
      // wait on an event to stop
      WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);
      // revoke and release the class object
      CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration); ulRef = pCF-Release();
      // Tell OLE we are going away.
      CoUninitialize();
      return(0); }
      extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
      extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;
      CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /*
      2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
      0x2573F891,
      0xCFEE,
      0x101A,
      { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
      };
      UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /*
      2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
      0x2573F890,
      0xCFEE,
      0x101A,
      { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
      };
      #include <windows.h>
      #include <ole2.h>
      #include <stdlib.h>
      #include <string.h>
      #include <stdio.h>
      #include "pshlo.h"
      #include "shlo.hxx"
      #include "clsid.h"
      int _cdecl main(
      int argc,
      char * argv[]
      ) {
      HRESULT  hRslt;
      IHello        *pHello;
      ULONG  ulCnt;
      IMoniker * pmk;
      WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
      WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];
      // get object path
      wcsPath[0] = '�';
      wcsT[0] = '�';
      if( argc  1) {
      mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1); wcsupr(wcsPath);
      }
      else {
      fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified
"); return(1);
      }
      // get print string
      if(argc  2)
      mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
      else
      wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");
      printf("Linking to object %ws
", wcsPath);
      printf("Text String %ws
", wcsT);
      // Initialize the OLE libraries
      hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);
      if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
      hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
      if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
      hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);
      if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {
      // print a string out
      pHello-PrintSz(wcsT);
      Sleep(2000);
      ulCnt = pHello-Release();
      }
      else
      printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);
      // Tell OLE we are going away.
      CoUninitialize();
      }
      return(0);
      }

Apprentice Hacker

      /usr/local/bin/perl
      $msg="Hello, world.
";
      if ($#ARGV = 0) {
      while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
      $outfilename = $arg;
      open(FILE, "" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!
"; print (FILE $msg);
      close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!
";
      }
      } else {
      print ($msg);
      }
      1;

Experienced Hacker

      #include <stdio.h>
      #define S "Hello, World
"
      main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

      % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
      % a.out

Guru Hacker

      % cat
      Hello, world.
      ^D

New Manager

      10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
      20 END

Middle Manager

      mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
      Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello,
      world."?
      I need it by tomorrow.
      ^D

Senior Manager

      % zmail jim
      I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

      % letter
      letter: Command not found.
      % mail
      To: ^X ^F ^C
      % help mail
      help: Command not found.
      % damn!
      !: Event unrecognized
      % logout


Click here for the next geeky joke

About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

 

The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

Browse Amazon Bestsellers

 

Google
Web JokeTribe