Re: QUERY: Recommended procedures for a meteor strike

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

From: Sean Ellis
Subject: Re: QUERY: Recommended procedures for a meteor strike (Francis A. Ney, Jr.) wrote:

> [What should you do if a meteorite lands in your field?]

Do not...

  • * ...stand directly under the path of the falling rock.
  • * ...investigate during the hours of darkness.
  • * ...send farmhands to investigate during the hours of darkness.
  • * ...send farmhands to investigate during the hours of daylight.
  • * any nuclear physicists who may be holidaying nearby.
  • * ...stand around saying "Ooh, look, the top's unscrewing."

    Serious flashburns may result.
  • * ...intone the phrase "Klatu Barada Nikto" for any reason.
  • * the Army.

  • * ...adopt infants found near the site of the impact.
  • * ...carry flashlights.
  • * away if flashlights unexpectedly go out.
  • * ...check returning farmhands for signs that they are still human.
  • * ...check out all local greenhouses for tall bell-shaped flowers and/or giant seed pods.
  • * ...make sure at least one of any investigating party has a cold.

[Sorry, couldn't resist this one]

Seriously, I guess that the best people to get into contact with would be the geology department of your local university, or your local natural history museum. If they can't help directly, they should know a man who can.


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