JokeTribe - THE Best Humor Archive of Dirty Jokes and Clean Jokes

Quotes On The Nature Of The Universe

Carl Zwanzig "Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...."

Douglas Adams "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

Albert Einstein "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Woody Allen "Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."

Edward P. Tryon "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time."

John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."

Max Frisch "Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it."

Kilgore Trout "The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest." (Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.)

Woody Allen "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

Douglas Adams "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

William J. Broad "The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing."

Rich Cook "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot- proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

Fred Hoyle "There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for."

Ray Bradbury "We are an impossibility in an impossible universe."

Christopher Morley "My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed."

Edward Chilton "I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge."

Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.

Why we switched to Firefox

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to