New MS Biological Warfare Division
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-- David B. Lewis, Computer Defense News

Redmond, WA (AP) -- In a surprising announcement today, Microsoft, the PC software giant, revealed that it is forming a biological weapons division. The division will begin its operations by acquiring the office refrigerator of Integrated Computer Solutions, a small Cambridge, MA, software firm.

Microsoft has often entered new markets by acquiring the technology of much smaller rivals. Casper Weinberger, named head of the operation, explained that Microsoft's own programmers don't generate the sorts of leftovers which make good weapons. "We just couldn't duplicate the potent combination of mildewed spaghetti, stale pizza, and moldering take-out Chinese and Indian food that we find here." Mr. Weinberger promised that the new division would be able to analyze the ICS property and culture it successfully.

Critics, reacting to the announcement, doubted that Microsoft could produce a biological weapon on the proposed schedule. Microsoft has a history of delaying the introduction of new products; its flagship Windows 95 product is several months late.

"Many people have viewed Windows software as a virus anyway," Mr. Weinberger said, "so moving into biological technology isn't that much of a stretch for Microsoft. We can do it on schedule." He dismissed the notion, however, that Microsoft has been known for producing buggy code.

The new division has tentatively been named "Micro-Organism"; it will be headquartered in Reston, VA, home of the US Army Bio-Hazards Laboratory.

Microsoft stock closed up 1 1/8 on the news.



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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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The difference between web surfing with IE and Firefox is the difference between body armor and a trendy cotton vest

 

We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

And some of us have had firsthand experience. Firsthand experience that has led us away from IE and to other browsers like Firefox.

And why is that? Well, virus writers are generally going to be trying to get the most bang for their buck, ,just like everyone else. That's why. And IE currently provides them with that. It still has the largest market share, likely due in large part that it comes preinstalled on most computers.

But just because it's preinstalled doesn't mean you have to use it and expose yourself to all the spyware and virii targetted to it. You can do what an ever growing portion of users out there are doing. You can switch to

 

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