JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

Trying to turn around a long list of natural highs.

The complications of falling in love. Having your 2:00 class
cancelled with already too much time on your hands.

Laughing so hard face hurts too much to smile and sides ache for days.
Watching a child lie for the first time after you taught them.
Obsessive thoughts. A student loan. A scalding shower. The lines at
the DMV. A sucker punch. A sneer.

Lousy acting. Tailgaters. Period stains.


Getting hate mail. Dog attacks. Deceipt. Listening to your neighbors
bicker. Falling asleep in the sun and getting burned. Taking a drive
off a pretty road into opposing traffic. Losing your old teddy bear.
Golf on TV. Striking out in baseball. Dropping your soap in the
shower. Screwing up a good friend's successful project. The view
from the gutter. Having to skip dinner. Getting an "F" on a
paper. Going out on a Saturday night, coming home with piss stains on
your shoes and regretting ever being born. Going for a blood test.
Getting carded. Listening to painfully loud music. Standing outside
in the sleet without your keys. Getting caught cheating on your last
final. Finding the sweater you want is more than you'll earn in a
couple months. Too much mayo. Losing your homework. Crstallized ice cream.

Finding out there is no alternative to a hard class. Getting rejected
from all the study-abroad programs you applied to. A long distance
phone bill. Forgotten birthdays. Going late to movies. Humble pie.
Getting disinvited from a dance. Moving back into your parents'.
Wrong change for the laundry. Having an 8:00 class. An aneurism.
Giggling. Carrying someone you love home from a party. Falling out
of love. Nearly drowning. Broken legs. Seeing someone you
love do something outstanding with your best friend. A boring
conversation. Finding out you were just a "score". Lifelong
rollercoasters. Spring Break. A Saturday shopping trip with a
boorish asshole. Being told you fucked up by your peers. Foreign
exchange students stuck in America during Thanksgiving break. Ex-lax
cookies. A letterbomb. Slipping into the Grand Canyon. Sliding down
a waterslide onto your little brother, and losing your top too.
Christmas carolers who won't leave 'till you pay them. Frostbite.
Hearing a song that reminds you of someone who betrayed you. Ruining your
best time. Watching a test detonation. Your mom or dad's funeral.
Being yourself. A party where the host buries a kitten up to its neck
and runs over it with a lawnmower. When your boss says "Nice ass".
When your dog jumps around because he isn't neutered...

When a friend says "I find you useful." A drizzly day at the
beach. Tax day. A traffic ticket. Really understanding something
awful, and being helpless. A suprise visit from a banker. Seeing a

Mouldy flowers. A forced smile. Losing quarters down a storm drain.
Giving up on a problem. Eating binges. Staring at yourself. Burning
yourself with a candle. A halfhearted "I love you". Twisted ankles.
Being the ACC laugingstock. Midnight phone calls that last for
months. Motorcycling in the rain. Hustling yourself in downtown
Buenos Aires in the Spring. Sex for hire. Walking barefoot on
gravel. snowboarding/skiing into a wire fence. Scoring bad acid.
Dancing with a smelly drunk loser. Having a class with a guy who
raped you. Your friends singing 'round a campfire and toasting
marshmallows and not really missing you. Not being able to cry.
Camping near bears. Hiking without resting all day. Slugging your
daddy. Watching the sun rise over the river after drinking all night.
Uncomforatable shoes. Stepping on a nail. Leg cramps. Getting
busted for illegal camping. Screaming at a mugging. Laughing
maniacally for absolutely no reason at all. Having someone tell you
that you're pathetic. Getting all hot and sweaty and then giving a
presentation. Sleeping naked in the cold. Slowly going deaf.
Smelling your ski boots after a day skiing. Knitting. Eating
soap. Knowing that some very special people think that you need
special attention. Catching a cold. Screaming in the middle of the
night at the top of your lungs. Receiving a standing injunction.
Dogshit on a summer afternoon. Being on the outside of an inside
joke. Falling asleep with a purring cat taking up your favorite
space. Bright sun in your eyes too early in the morning. Insurance
adjsuters. Unexpected inclement weather. Furrowed brows. Being let
down for the first time. A nag after a hard day. Giving blowjobs at
slumber parties. Taking out the trash barefoot in pajamas. Taking
care of a senile relative. Trudging home on a muggy day. Shooting
your crippled steed. Getting a dance that you've worked hard on right
at the performance, but no-one noticing because the velcro that held
your skirt on gave out.

Pilots striking granite by moon light. Knowing you are loathed.
"Accidentally" dropping something negative about someone to their friends.
Landing on the runway, after a long flight homeward bound, and knowing
no one cares if you made it. Eating that awfull food they serve
around Europe while eurailing.

Going out on a weekend, not scoring a thing, and then either getting
bloodied while slam dancing, or rolling some passed out homeless man
for laughs. Watching the sunrise and set from a mexican jail. kissing
a friends SO guiltily in secret. kissing ass. crossing the finish
line second to last. Driving through the Utah desert listening to
"The Joshua Tree." watching TV instead of, oh, uh, netsurfing...
waking up and realizing that you have overslept a few hours.
retreating. midnight wildings in the city. Dancing and
singing in cold rain with strangers at midnight 'cuz you have no friends.
Wishing on a the wrong stars and never having a wish come true.
Having so many of these things that remind you of the friends you lost.
Rowing on Lake Quonnipaug on a cool autumn day when the water is like
glass and the cormorants float dead the water, a faint stench
reminding you of the industry you work for that's killing the park
with its pollution. Trampling on dandelions and being a sociopath. >-[
Lookin' for queers to bash down North Carolina backroads in a sweet car!

Add One Thing That Feels Lousy and keep it to yourself . . .

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.