NATURAL LOWS
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Trying to turn around a long list of natural highs.

The complications of falling in love. Having your 2:00 class cancelled with already too much time on your hands.

Laughing so hard face hurts too much to smile and sides ache for days. Watching a child lie for the first time after you taught them. Obsessive thoughts. A student loan. A scalding shower. The lines at the DMV. A sucker punch. A sneer.

Lousy acting. Tailgaters. Period stains.

 
 

Getting hate mail. Dog attacks. Deceipt. Listening to your neighbors bicker. Falling asleep in the sun and getting burned. Taking a drive off a pretty road into opposing traffic. Losing your old teddy bear. Golf on TV. Striking out in baseball. Dropping your soap in the shower. Screwing up a good friend's successful project. The view from the gutter. Having to skip dinner. Getting an "F" on a paper. Going out on a Saturday night, coming home with piss stains on your shoes and regretting ever being born. Going for a blood test. Getting carded. Listening to painfully loud music. Standing outside in the sleet without your keys. Getting caught cheating on your last final. Finding the sweater you want is more than you'll earn in a couple months. Too much mayo. Losing your homework. Crstallized ice cream.

Finding out there is no alternative to a hard class. Getting rejected from all the study-abroad programs you applied to. A long distance phone bill. Forgotten birthdays. Going late to movies. Humble pie. Getting disinvited from a dance. Moving back into your parents'. Wrong change for the laundry. Having an 8:00 class. An aneurism. Giggling. Carrying someone you love home from a party. Falling out of love. Nearly drowning. Broken legs. Seeing someone you love do something outstanding with your best friend. A boring conversation. Finding out you were just a "score". Lifelong rollercoasters. Spring Break. A Saturday shopping trip with a boorish asshole. Being told you fucked up by your peers. Foreign exchange students stuck in America during Thanksgiving break. Ex-lax cookies. A letterbomb. Slipping into the Grand Canyon. Sliding down a waterslide onto your little brother, and losing your top too. Christmas carolers who won't leave 'till you pay them. Frostbite. Hearing a song that reminds you of someone who betrayed you. Ruining your best time. Watching a test detonation. Your mom or dad's funeral. Being yourself. A party where the host buries a kitten up to its neck and runs over it with a lawnmower. When your boss says "Nice ass". When your dog jumps around because he isn't neutered...

When a friend says "I find you useful." A drizzly day at the beach. Tax day. A traffic ticket. Really understanding something awful, and being helpless. A suprise visit from a banker. Seeing a shooting.

Mouldy flowers. A forced smile. Losing quarters down a storm drain. Giving up on a problem. Eating binges. Staring at yourself. Burning yourself with a candle. A halfhearted "I love you". Twisted ankles. Being the ACC laugingstock. Midnight phone calls that last for months. Motorcycling in the rain. Hustling yourself in downtown Buenos Aires in the Spring. Sex for hire. Walking barefoot on gravel. snowboarding/skiing into a wire fence. Scoring bad acid. Dancing with a smelly drunk loser. Having a class with a guy who raped you. Your friends singing 'round a campfire and toasting marshmallows and not really missing you. Not being able to cry. Camping near bears. Hiking without resting all day. Slugging your daddy. Watching the sun rise over the river after drinking all night. Uncomforatable shoes. Stepping on a nail. Leg cramps. Getting busted for illegal camping. Screaming at a mugging. Laughing maniacally for absolutely no reason at all. Having someone tell you that you're pathetic. Getting all hot and sweaty and then giving a presentation. Sleeping naked in the cold. Slowly going deaf. Smelling your ski boots after a day skiing. Knitting. Eating soap. Knowing that some very special people think that you need special attention. Catching a cold. Screaming in the middle of the night at the top of your lungs. Receiving a standing injunction. Dogshit on a summer afternoon. Being on the outside of an inside joke. Falling asleep with a purring cat taking up your favorite space. Bright sun in your eyes too early in the morning. Insurance adjsuters. Unexpected inclement weather. Furrowed brows. Being let down for the first time. A nag after a hard day. Giving blowjobs at slumber parties. Taking out the trash barefoot in pajamas. Taking care of a senile relative. Trudging home on a muggy day. Shooting your crippled steed. Getting a dance that you've worked hard on right at the performance, but no-one noticing because the velcro that held your skirt on gave out.

Pilots striking granite by moon light. Knowing you are loathed. "Accidentally" dropping something negative about someone to their friends. Landing on the runway, after a long flight homeward bound, and knowing no one cares if you made it. Eating that awfull food they serve around Europe while eurailing.

Going out on a weekend, not scoring a thing, and then either getting bloodied while slam dancing, or rolling some passed out homeless man for laughs. Watching the sunrise and set from a mexican jail. kissing a friends SO guiltily in secret. kissing ass. crossing the finish line second to last. Driving through the Utah desert listening to "The Joshua Tree." watching TV instead of, oh, uh, netsurfing... waking up and realizing that you have overslept a few hours. retreating. midnight wildings in the city. Dancing and singing in cold rain with strangers at midnight 'cuz you have no friends. Wishing on a the wrong stars and never having a wish come true. Having so many of these things that remind you of the friends you lost. Rowing on Lake Quonnipaug on a cool autumn day when the water is like glass and the cormorants float dead the water, a faint stench reminding you of the industry you work for that's killing the park with its pollution. Trampling on dandelions and being a sociopath. >-[ Lookin' for queers to bash down North Carolina backroads in a sweet car!

Add One Thing That Feels Lousy and keep it to yourself . . .



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We've all heard the stories. Stories about innocently searching the internet with Internet Explorer when, all of a sudden, all the alarms are going off with your virus scanner. Programs are installing themselves. Warnings about Smitfraud-C, SpyAxe, and Vcodec are popping up on your screen.

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