Are your co-workers space aliens?

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(This article has been attributed to a number of different sources,
mostly tabloid magazines, but apparently the real author is concealing
his identity. Probably for fear of alien retaliation.)

Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human --
but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, say
experts. They listed 10 signs to watch for:

  1. Odd or mismatched clothes. "Often space aliens don't fully
    understand the different styles, so they wear combinations that
    are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped shirt or a
    tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers," noted Brad Steiger, a
    renowned UFO investigator and author.

  2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might eat
    French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of pills,
    the experts say.

  3. Bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't understand earthly
    humor may laugh during a serious company training film or tell
    jokes that no one understands, said Steiger.

  4. Takes frequent sick days. A space alien might need extra time off
    to "rejuvenate its energy," said Dr. Thomas Easton, a theoretical
    biologist and futurist.

  5. Keeps a written or tape recorded diary. "Aliens are constantly
    gathering information," said Steiger.

  6. Misuses everyday items. "A space alien may use correction fluid to
    paint its nails," said Steiger.

  7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. Space aliens
    who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions
    that seem stupid, Easton said. "For example, a co-worker may ask
    why so many Americans picnic on the Fourth of July," noted

  8. Secretive about personal lifestyle and home. "An alien won't
    discuss domestic details or talk about what it does at night or
    on weekends," said Steiger.

  9. Frequently talks to himself. "An alien may not be used to
    speaking as we do, so it may practice speaking," Steiger noted.

  10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near certain
    high-tech hardware. "An alien may experience a mood change when a
    microwave oven is turned on," said Steiger.

The experts point out that a co-worker would have to display most if
not all of these traits before you can positively identify him as a
space alien.
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