Proper Diskette Care and Usage

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  1. Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of
    the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes
    should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

  2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic
    metal particles may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the
    surface of the disk. Any stubborn metal shavings can be removed with
    scouring powder and steel wool. When waxing a diskette, make sure the
    surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster,
    resulting in better access time.

  3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big"
    Diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.

  4. Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can
    fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of
    the drive.

  5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy
    machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert
    TWO diskettes into your drive. Whenever you update a document, the
    data will be written onto both disks. A handy tip for more legible
    backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings at your desk. When you
    need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings liberally between the
    diskettes before inserting them into the drive.

  6. Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive while
    the red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or
    possibly unreadable text. Occasionally, the red light remains flashing
    in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is
    hooking, you will probably need to insert a few coins before being
    allowed to access the slot.

  7. If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the
    disk from the drive and shake vigourously for two minutes. This will
    pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more storage. Be
    sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

  8. Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in
    the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points
    to the disk.

  9. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system
    bugs from spreading.....

  10. You can keep your data fresh by storing disks in the vegetable
    compartment of your refrigerator. Disks may be frozen, but remember to
    un thaw by microwaving or briefly immersing in boiling water.

  11. "Little" diskettes must be removed from their box prior to use.
    These containers are childproof to prevent tampering by
    unknowledgeable youngsters.

  12. You can recover data from a damaged disk by using the DOS
    command: FORMAT /U or alternatively by scratching new sector marks on
    the disk with a nail file.

  13. Diskettes become "hard" with age. It's important to back up your
    "hard" disks before they become too brittle to use.

  14. Make sure you label your data. Staples are a good way to
    permanently affix labels to your disks.

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.