A UFO?

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(UPI) LONG BEACH, Calif. -- Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird, a
plane, the space shuttle? No, it's Larry Walters at 16,000 feet in his
lawn chair.


Walters, 33, a truck driver, spent nearly two hours in the air on
Friday in an aluminum lawn chair suspended from a 50-foot cable
attached to 45 helium-filled balloons.


Among other things, he threw a scare into a couple of airline pilots
who happened across the path of his weird flying contraption.


"I know it sounds strange but it's true," said a Long Beach police
officer. "The guy just filled up some balloons with helium, strapped
on a parachute, grabbed a BB gun and took off."


But everything didn't go as planned and Walters had a few dicey moments
as he started getting numb in the cold atmosphere at 16,000 feet and
decided to descend -- which he accomplished by popping some of the
balloons with the BB gun. As he neared the ground he saw power lines.


"That's when I got scared," he said. "Those things can fry you."


He didn't get fried, the balloons draped themselves across the wires,
leaving Walters dangling in his chair a few feet from the ground and he
dropped to earth. The landing knocked out power in the neighborhood
for 20 minutes.


"I have fulfilled my 20-year dream," said Walters, a truck driver for a
company that makes TV commercials. "I'm staying on the ground. I've
proved to myself that the thing works."


In addition to the BB gun and the parachute, Walter carried several
one-gallon water jugs for ballast, a life vest and a CB radio.


"But the best piece of equipment was the lawn chair," Walters said.
"It was a Sears. It was extremely comfortable."


Walters told authorities that he was trying to drift to the Mojave
Desert, site of Sunday's scheduled space shuttle Columbia landing, but
the winds didn't cooperate.


"I wasn't trying to upstage the space shuttle," Walters said. "I would
have landed well away from there. I just wanted to lay back and enjoy
it all, but I had to do something when my toes started getting numb."


Police said they probably would not file charges against Walters. But
the Federal Aviation Administration was investigating, mainly because
of the scare Walters gave the airline pilots who came across him at
16,000 feet in his flying lawn chair.


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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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