FW: Is this you??

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes
From: Patrick O'Neil <patrick@howard.genetics.utah.edu>
Newsgroups: comp.sys.powerpc
Subject: Re: Ugly Ugly BeBox

On Sat, 18 Nov 1995, David E. Tin Nyo wrote:

> >So...to borrow from one of my earlier posts, you WOULD buy a gaudy,
> >hideous, mermaid statue with a clock in her belly (and perhaps a real
[...] >
> Yes.
> >Would you buy a nasty, rusting, lime green and pink automobile simply
> >because it has a good engine?
> Of course. And I'm totally serious about both answers. I've already got a

> beatup-looking car (with a great engine), but my current clock/lamp combo

Ach! Gah! A philistine...there can be no talking to you. A plaid-pants- wearing-lime-green-polo-shirted- "Why doesn't Venus have arms?" - complaining-picking-and-sucking-your-teeth-at-the-dinner-table-when- you've-worn-your-underwear-for-a-few-days-just-turn-them-insideout-for- a-few-more-days-philistine!

Your present computer is no doubt caseless, in any event, its innards on constant display due to incessant (and obsessive) tinkering and fiddling; it sitting amongst untidy piles of computer paper bearing software code mixed with a few old dried pizza crusts and empty soda cans (as well as a few old, flat, room temperature half-full cans of Pepsi...the fluid around the open mouth now mostly evaporated into a thick, syrupy gum). On top of your monitor is an empty, greasy Domino's Pizza box that fathered the of the pizza crusts now petrified in the unkempt mess.

Your couch, a very old, worn, mustard-yellowish-upholstered job with the stuffing poking out from the threadbare regions which punctuate the multitude of scary stains of unknown origin on your cushions. Your coffee table is littered with computer mags and more random code with the marks of debugging all over them (the saddest part of it is that most of it is just code you wrote for the heck of it because you have long evenings with little else to do when there isn't a computer show in town)

A poster of Marvin Minsky is tacked to the wall next to your computer. On the adjacent wall is a poster bearing LtCmdr Data from Star Trek the Next Generation.

Your...ugh. I feel ill. This grim picture has left me feeling almost like I did as I left the theater after seeing _Schindler's List_. You will forgive me if I don't go on.

By the way... :)

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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