Q. How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q. How many Configuration Management jockeys does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Give us your light bulb and a change request, and we'll change everyone's bulbs, probably around midnight.

Q. How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q. How many Management Information System guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A. MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

Q. How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong . . . have you tried the light switch?

Q. How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a faucet.

Q. How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q. How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. The light bulb works fine on the system in my office . . .

Q. How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Q. How many shipping dept. personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A. We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before 2pm and pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.

Q. How long does it take a DEC repairman to change a light bulb?
A. It depends on how many burnt-out lightbulbs he brought with him.

Q. How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One, but he'll swear up and down that it was just as easy for him as it would be for a Macintosh user.

Q. How many Newtons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup.

Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, Bill Gates will just redefine DarknessTM as the new industry standard.