More twisted card ideas

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Twisted Greeting Cards by Alan Meiss,

We're sorry you now mourn the loss
of your beloved cat.
For if we had only braked in time,
it wouldn't be so flat.

The frost is on the meadow,
the dew upon the grass.
Here's your stinking birthday card,
now shove it up your *ahem*.

I've tender thoughts and memories

of the special time we shared.
I'd never been so close to you,
for it was more than souls we bared.
But I've since come to have regrets
and wonder if we erred,
For now the sores have failed to heal,
and I'm getting really scared.

Golden fields of daffodils,
sparkling mountain streams,
Crisp clean air and cotton clouds,
vistas from our dreams.
But all throughout our lovely trip,
to thoughts of you we've clung,
Because you'll never see these things
in your iron lung.

I think upon a special time,
one that I shall miss.
A moonlit walk upon the shore,
a hug and then a kiss.
And though I'd like to write some more,
I really have to piss.
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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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