How a half full glass of milk is perceived
JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

















 
 



































































































































Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
MIS: I'll drink it if you can give me until next year.
Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Prolog programmers: I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Windows users: Where's my straw?
Mac users: Where's my pump?
UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.
Multimedia author: [slurp!]
Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
NSA: We know what it really is.
Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Schroedinger: That damned cat got into the milk again!
Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
IBM: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
IRS: Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.
National news media: Hey, we wanted OJ!

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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