Some good news, some bad news

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

There was this multi-millionaire who had absolutely everything,
money (obviously), a country mansion, a beautiful wife, race
horses, everything that a man could want. In fact he was so rich
that he decided to go off to Africa on a three month safari to
shoot big game.

When he got back, the chauffeur driven Rolls had just got to the
large, ornate gates at the foot of the drive to the set back house,
when it was met by Jeeves, the butler. The millionaire wound down
the window of the Rolls and said "Hello Jeeves, what on earth are
you doing here?"

The butler replied "Well sir, I've got some good news and some
bad news." "Tell me the bad news first then." answered the
millionaire. "Well sir," started Jeeves "I don't know how to tell

you this, but your favourite dog Reggie has died." "Good God, not
poor old Reggie, how did it happen?" "Well sir, your two million
pound race horse, Lucky Strike fell on him." "That's terrible,
why?" replied the millionaire. "Well sir, a beam from the stable
roof collapsed on him." said Jeeves. "Why, what happened to the
stable?" "Well sir, it was on fire at the time." "That's awful
Jeeves how did the stable catch fire?" "We think it was a spark
from the house sir." "Oh no, the house has burnt down, how did the
fire start Jeeves?" "The wind blew over one of the candles on your
wife's coffin sir." "Good Lord, Angela died, why Jeeves" "Well sir,
she had a heart attack when she heard the news that your company
had crashed on the stock market." "I'm flabbergasted, tell me the
good news Jeeves." To which Jeeves replied..................

"Sir, your tomatoes have ripened early."

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About JokeTribe

These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.