The Beer/Bike connection
JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes
by Israel Soliz (iz808@ix.netcom.com)

I really like beer.

I may go so far as to say that I love beer. I love my bike even more. After some deep soul searching, I realized that many cyclists out there are in the same situation. The love for beer and bike run strong. It is a bond that is stronger than some marriages I've witnessed. I've even noticed that beer has been mentioned in some bike magazines (BIKE Magazine, mostly). Are the publishers finally getting hip to the fact that bikers like beer or are we all becoming just a bunch of drunks?

This is the question that I posed to all CyberCyclists around the world (through the magic of the Internet) and some of the answers I got surprised even me. Of all the requests for responses that I have posted, this one garnered the most by far. That ought to tell you something.

The most often repeated answer was simply the fact that beer is food. Not only that but it is high in carbohydrates. Both things are needed in large amounts by any cyclist. If you look at the ingredients of any beer you will find it is made out of water, malt, rice, corn, hops and brewers yeast. At least that's what my can of Rolling Rock says. And no additives or preservatives. An all natural, high carbo food. What more do you want? I think the dude who invented fermentation deserves a national holiday in his name. And on that day we will all ride bikes.

The love for beer and bike was repeated in almost every e-mail that hit my screen. Nobody could really explain why this is, and I'm sure it will go down as one of those unanswerable questions of the universe, right up there with "If I have to put the toilet seat down when I'm finished, why can't my girlfriend/wife put it up when she is done?" My theory is that connected to the Cycling Gene there is a mutated strand of DNA that closely resembles that of barley. I could be wrong, but what if I'm right?

There is something to be said for an ice cold beer after a long ride (or any ride for that matter). It sounds better than a glass of wine or a shot of vodka. Only because who wants to mess with a cork or cocktail shaker while you're all sweaty? Can you i magine after a long, hard, dirty ride you go over to your friend's house and he breaks out the SHERRY? How fast would you be on your bike and on your way to the nearest pub for a pint of the good stuff.

Most replies seemed to fall into two categories when asked to name their favorite beer. There was the Cheap-whatever's-available group and the Good-dark-preferably-micro-brewed group. I personally can drink any beer but I do seem to buy all my beer by the twelve or twenty-four packs. And I almost always refuse to pay more than $5 for a twelver. But there is something to be said for a Guinness or Bass now and then. My favorite, though, is Rolling Rock, mainly because it has the words "rock" and "roll" in the name.

I suppose bikes and beer will always go together and there is nothing any of us can do about it. One of the best letters I got was from AlsworthG. He wrote that during the Tour de France, his local station did a retrospective each day. One of them showed an old photo from the 20's or 30's of two racers resting with glasses of beer in their hands. ". . .so I presume that it's always been true," he writes.

And I hope that it always remains that way.

Ed Note - You do realize that anytime alcohol is mentioned we're required to tell you some things. First of all. Never combine drinking and driving, drinking and riding your bike, or drinking and any activity that can in any way shape or form hurt you. Don't forget, just like with mountain biking, knowing when to stop can be the most important thing.



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