Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies And What They Really Mean

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1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
-- We are basically p*ssing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
-- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
-- We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
-- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION AS DELIVERED IS ASSURED
-- We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
-- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
-- We are so surprised that the stupid thing even works.

 

 

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
-- The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
-- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
-- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
-- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw-up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
-- We'll listen to what you have to say... as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
-- I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
-- Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW
-- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED
-- Too darn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT
-- Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
-- One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING
-- Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE
-- Impossible to fix if broken.

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These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

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