The Worlds Biggest Lies

JokeTribe - THE Best College Humor Archive of Funny Jokes

Apparently From: joeshmoe@misty.com



  • The check is in the mail.

  • I'll respect you in the morning.

  • I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.

  • It's only a cold sore.

  • You get this one, I'll pay next time.

  • My wife doesn't understand me.

  • Trust me, I'll take care of everything.

  • Of course I love you.

  • I am getting a divorce.

  • Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

  • I never inhaled.

  • It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

  • I never watch television except for PBS.

  • ..but we can still be good friends.

  •  

     
  • She means nothing to me.

  • Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on
    "empty."

  • I gave at the office.

  • Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.

  • I'll call you later.

  • We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

  • Read my lips: no new taxes

  • I've never done anything like this before

  • Now, I'm going to tell you the truth

  • It's supposed to make that noise.

  • I *love* your new [hat/haircut/dress/suit...]!

  • ..then take a left. You can't miss it.

  • Yes, I did.

  • Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile.



Note: If you have additions to this list, please send them to:
joeshmoe@misty.com
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About JokeTribe


These all are jokes that we've had the good fortune of having other people email to us or we've retrieved off the Internet. Over time, we've sent them on to the subscribers of our various jokes lists. Since we're talking some ten years of managing these emails lists, we've built up a pretty sizeable (and FUNNY) collection of jokes. They cover pretty much any category and topic that you can imagine; from clean jokes to dirty jokes and most everything in between, including the much loved lawyer jokes and the blonde jokes and the yo mama jokes as well as those redneck jokes. Remember, we did NOT author them, but we did take the time to convert the text files to html.

If you are certain of the authorship of any of these, email us the author's name along with relevant information on how we can verify that they truly are the author so we can give them the credit that they deserve.