DOS AIR

All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane,
push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the
ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the
air, hop on, etcetera.

WINDOWS '95 AIRLINES

The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very
attractive and the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After
your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has
not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above
the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning.

MAC AIRWAYS

The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel
the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight
they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know, and
would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

OS/2 SKYWAYS

The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective
passengers milling about. Airline personnel walk around,
apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from
time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on
the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will
be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows
Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the
technicians to finish the flight systems.

FLY WINDOWS NT

All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing
the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their
arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

WINGS of OS/400

The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest
planes that ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them
look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend
to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid
questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which
requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer
club.

MVS AIRLINES

The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of
technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury
aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000
passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary
complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the
glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realize that the plane
is too big to get through the hangar doors!

UNIX EXPRESS

Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to
the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about
what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together.
Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them
all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their
destinations. All passengers believe they got there.