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Ventriloquist cowboy:
A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:

Cowboy: Hey! Cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?

Rancher: That dog don't talk!

Cowboy: Hey dog, how's it going?

Dog: Doin' alright.

Rancher: <extreme look of shock>

Cowboy: Is this your owner? <pointing at rancher>

Dog: Yep

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Rancher: Horses don't talk!

Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: Cool.

Rancher: <an even wilder look of shock>

Cowboy: Is this your owner? <pointing at rancher>

Horse: Yep

Cowboy: How's he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Rancher: <total look of amazement>

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Rancher: <gesticulating wildly and hardly able to talk>
Them sheep ain't nothin' but liars!!!!

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