Bill Gates died in an automobile accident, and found himself in
Purgatory, being weighed in the balance by St. Peter....
St Peter: "Well, Bill, this is a difficult call; I'm not sure whether
to send you to Heaven or Hell. It is true that you benefitted society
enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America,
yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do
something I've never done before; I'm going to let you decide where
you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between them?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if
it will help you decide."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let me see Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini clad women playing in the water,
laughing and frolicking happily about. The sun was shining; the
temperature was perfect. Plenty of cool drinks that never get
you drunk (and a lot of C and Basic :-)).
Bill was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is Hell, I really want
to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
playing harps, singing hymns, praising the Lord (and probably
writing Ada :-)). It was nice, but hardly so enticing as Hell.
Bill thought briefly, and rendered his decision. "Look, I know you're
really doing good things here, but I think I'd prefer Hell," he told
St. Peter.
"Fine," said St. Peter, "whatever you say." So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to
see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill shackled
to the wall in a hot sulpher cave, being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This
is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
believe that this is happening! What happened to that other place, with
the beautiful beaches, the scantily clad women playing in the water and
the cool drinks?
St. Peter replied, "Sorry if you got confused, That was just the demo
version."
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